INC Wedding / Life

Wedding – Important Things (Part 1)

Ok so to begin, here are some things you have to think about arranged in order of importance.

1) Are you SURE?

Of course this is first.

Are you committed? This decision to be married is a lifelong one. Don’t just get into it because you feel like it.

If you’ve known your would-be spouse for just a month then you better stop and think about it. If you don’t you just might end up like one of those Hollywood marriages lasting only one weekend. It’s a waste of time, money and emotions. Just throw a party if all you want is a celebration.

To put you in perspective, think of it in this way: It’s like jumping off a plane, or cutting off your arms, or letting a bunch of kids loose on cake and fried chicken – there’s no turning back.

If you don’t, you’ll seriously regret it. Imagine living with the wrong person. tsktsk.

Now if you’re not sure, stop reading. If you ARE sure, though, please proceed.

2) BUDGET!

Budget

Now you might say, “Japs, we have a a lot of money now. Budget is no issue for us.”, but you are so wrong, my friend.

A wedding can cost anywhere from P1,000 to P100,000,000. If you don’t set your limit right from the beginning then before you know it, you’re breaking the bank spending 10 times what you thought.

There’s a lot of things to consider for a wedding in terms of expenses. I’ll go into detail on this in future posts but trust me, it’s a LOT!

The budget ceiling we set for our wedding is P100,000. It might sound pretty small in today’s world where even toddlers get the debutante treatment, but we’re nearing the final date and we’re currently under budget.

The key here is to decide on the budget and stick to it like super glue. If you go over budget then think of ways to cut down costs or find cheaper ways for the same thing. A higher price tag doesn’t always mean a better result.

Remember to seek help from your relatives, friends, and other contacts. A lot of them have the capability to help you stay within your budget but still provide a quality celebration.

Some DON’Ts.

  • DON’T TAKE A LOAN JUST TO IMPRESS YOUR GUESTS AND FAMILY. Do you want to start your life together buried in a mountain of debt? I didn’t think so.
  • DON’T IMPOSE ON SPONSORS TO CONTRIBUTE LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY IF THEY DON’T WANT TO. Think of this as a new life for you and your spouse. You need to be independent.
  • DON’T REFUSE ASSISTANCE. Arranging a wedding is a big deal. Help will make it a lot easier.

BIG TIP: Seek help from someone who has a reputation of being a great haggler, shopper, or has many contacts. ๐Ÿ˜‰

3) List of Requirements

list

Like any good plan, you need to list down the things you need to do. Imagine being at the altar and realizing “Oh Sh*t, I forgot to hire a photographer!! P#+@!!” Hehe.

I’ll do my best to outline each and every requirement in the succeeding blog posts.

As I mentioned in the introduction, I’m a member of the Iglesia ni Cristo so some of the requirements may not be the same for you’re religion. So be sure to ask your priest, pastor, minister, rabbi. ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, we’re in Quezon City, Philippines so if you live in another City, please check with your local city hall.

4) Theme

You and your future spouse should also decide on the Color Scheme and Main Theme. This will affect all the decorative parts of your wedding.

Go wild with your theme! It’s your party! But remember to consult your church on what’s allowed inside the ceremony. There may be some restrictions that you may not know about (backless, sleeveless, slippers etc.).

For your reception as well as the apparel of your sponsors and main guests, you may want to make them uniform at least in color. Some couples prefer having the dresses and suits of the sponsors and the whole entourage tailor-made so keep that in mind as an option (though in our research the price ranges soar above P100,000).

5) Wedding Date

A lot of things rest on the date itself. And any project manager can tell you that deadlines can do wonders for productivity. ๐Ÿ™‚ So decide on the date, or month at the very least.

5) Guests, Entourage and Sponsors

Guests

Decide on which people you want to attend your wedding. Important people in your life of course. But also decide on the number of people you want to attend, this will immensely affect your budget.

BIG TIP: Remember that it’s YOUR wedding. Don’t be hesitant to cull your guest list if you can’t afford it. In the end it’s up to you.

The important roles that you have to assign are:

  1. Sponsors – Ninongs and Ninangs
  2. Entourage – Bridesmaids and Maid of Honor, and Groomsmen and Best Man
  3. Flower Girl
  4. Ringbearer

6) Prospects for Venues and Service Providers

Research

As early as you can (ideally months in advance), start thinking about the venues for Reception, Ceremony, Pre-Nup, etc. You also need to start contacting people or services that you need.

Research, research, research. It’s better to know a lot of options than just hoping this one thing will be available. Think of it as window shopping. ๐Ÿ™‚

Remember that if one thing seems too expensive then it probably is. So while you still have time, keep looking!

I’ll also be writing up more blog posts about Legal Requirements, Church Requirements, and Things you need to Do/Buy/Reserve for your wedding.

That’s it for now. Next up will be the Legal Process and Requirements. ๐Ÿ™‚

If you can suggest any more things to think about just place it in the comments. ๐Ÿ™‚

Previous Post: Wedding – INC Wedding Intro

Next Post:ย Wedding โ€“ Legal Requirements (Part 2)

INC Wedding Series:

  1. Wedding โ€“ INC Wedding intro
  2. Wedding โ€“ Important Things (Part 1)ย (this post)
  3. Wedding โ€“ Legal Requirements (Part 2)
  4. Wedding – Church Requirements (Part 3)
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21 thoughts on “Wedding – Important Things (Part 1)

  1. Pingback: Wedding โ€“ Legal Requirements (Part 2) | Japo32

  2. Pingback: Wedding – INC Wedding intro | Japo32

  3. i am not a an INC but my living in partner is.. i want to get to him but the problem is im not a INC.. we have 1 child and im pregnant as of now.. i want him to fulfill his obligation to us.. can you help me? my live in partner’s name is jomar . @

    • Hi ms sofia, first of all, please be careful in posting as this is already grounds for excommunication in our religion. Please talk to your partner and the pastor of you locale for guidance as to what actions you can do.

  4. Poyde po tanug kasi maron na kami na date na cort marriage at ako Muslim to at sha pla iglica sat na yon sha gusto nia kasl na yon sa simbhan poyde po ba to hinde to bawal

    โ€” Translation
    Can I ask a question? We have set a date for a court wedding (civil wedding). I’m a muslim and my partner is INC. It’s this Saturday. My partner wants to have a church wedding in a church. Is this permitted by the INC?

    • Please send me reply n help me kong ano gusto nia gawing ko kasi mahal na mahal ko po sha

      โ€” Translation
      Please send me a reply and help me understand what my partner wants me to do. I love my partner very much.

      • Hi Sam, Kung ako sayo e pagusapan nyo mabuti kasi grounds yan para maitiwalag sya sa INC. Mahirap po magcomment sa inter-religion na marriage pero sa INC po e bawal na bawal yan.

        โ€” Translation
        Hi Sam. If I were you, I would have a serious talk with my partner because your relationship is already grounds for getting expelled from the church. It’s difficult to comment on inter-religion marriage but in the INC this is forbidden.

  5. Hi kapatid. Thanks for this very helpful blog of yours. Question lang, pwede ba na 9 ang bridesmaids ko?

    โ€” Translation
    Hi brother. Thanks for this very helpful blog of yours. Just a question, can I have 9 bridesmaids?

    • Dami! haha. ๐Ÿ™‚ Kelangan po ilimit lang ang official bridesmaids and groomsmen to 5 each. Sa tingin ko po kaya may ganung rule e para mapanatili ang kaayusan sa seremonya.

      Pero try nyo po pakiusapan. Baka pumayag kung malaki naman ang lokal nyo.

      โ€” Translation
      So many! haha. ๐Ÿ™‚ You’ll need to limit your official bridesmaids and groomsmen to 5 each. I think the reason that rule was created was to maintain order in the church proceedings.

      But you can still go ahead and ask. The locale might allow it if the place is big enough.

      • Hi..ask ko lang po na kong pwedeng magpasa ng requirements sa distrito na hindi kasama ang future hubby ko para makapagpasched na po ng kasal..sa dec 27 pa ang uwi nia..we are planning na jan 8 yung kasal..pwede po ba yun?..thank you po
        ___
        Translation:
        Hi.. I just want to ask if it’s possible to pass the requirements to the District without my future husband so we can schedule the wedding. He’s due to arrive on Dec 27. We are planning to have the wedding on Jan 8. Is that possible? Thank you!

      • Hi Crissy, may mga INC wedding and family seminars na kelangan nyo pang attendan nang sabay bego makakuha ng go signal galing sa Distrito. Hindi po ako sigurado kung posible ang rush schedule. Pakitanong na lang po sa Distrito para mapagusapan niyo ang pwede nyong gawin.

        Sa pagreserve naman po ng kapilya para sa kasal, pwede po gawin yun kahit kailan. Kausapain nyo lang po ang mga kalihim sa opisina ng ilaw ng kaligtasan. Good luck!

        At kung makakabalik po kayo dito sa post ay pakishare nalang ang nasaliksik nyo para sa future readers na kapatid.

        โ€” Translation
        Hi Crissy, There are still a couple of INC wedding and family seminars you have to attend as a couple before getting the full go signal from your District. I’m not sure how and if a rush schedule is possible. Please make sure to ask the District to be sure of your options.

        In terms of reserving the church for your wedding, you can do that anytime. Just talk to the secretaries in the office of the light of salvation. Good luck!

        And if you happen to return to this post one day, please share what you learned for our future readers and brethren.

  6. Hi how many non INC principal sponsors can I get? Is it possible to get 2 pairs of non INC and 3 pairs of INC sponsors? Your blog is very helpful by the way, thank you!

    • Hi Skye. Only 1 pair is allowed in the church ceremony. But you can still have them as sponsor in the reception. I’m glad this helped.

    • Technically yes but it will not be recognized by the Church. You will both still be Kadiwa status so if you decide to live together, you will still get removed from the church.

      If money is the issue, the church wedding is cheaper since the church service is free. Just buy the choir some pancit. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Hi Ron,

      Yes po. Sa mga bridesmaids and groomsmen po namin ay tig isa lang ang INC.

      Ang restriction lang po ay sa mga ninong and ninang.

      Translation:

      Yes. With our bridesmaids and groomsmen, only 1 of each were INC.

      The restriction is only to godparents.

  7. Ilan days po seminar sa distrito may pasok po ako sa trabaho

    __Translation:

    How many days are the seminar at the ditstrict? I have work.

    • Hi Angel,

      Dalawang 1 oras sessions sa magkahiwalay na araw po. Sa pagkaalala ko. Tanong nyo po baka pwede sa weekend.

      Goodluck!

      __Translation:

      Hi Angel,

      Two 1 hour sessions on separate days. As I remember it. You can ask if you can do it on a weekend.

      Goodluck!

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